- SLOW DOWN! Pause is better than filter pharses
- In terms of body languages:
a. Lean forward
b. Avoid huge movement, e.g., wave hands, shake heads
c. Point your feet to the talker.
d. Don’t cross your arms.It often sends a signal of defenseness
- Have some warm up talk/questions befoe moving onto the true questions
- Shut up so that people can move onto the topic they want to talk about
- stay silent to see if the other side can pursue you
- Notice the difference between venter and explainer modei - this applies to both sides!
- Provide three options instead of yes/no questions, so that people is more likely to give valid info, espeically when under stress
- When giving feedbacks, use “I” instead of “you”
- Avoid:
a. Argument on the well meaning of the behavior
b. Jargon if possible
c. Comparison with other people
d. When you are in the position of authority, must pay very close attention to what you say - it is very easy to get overly-analyzed
e. Give feedback immediately, privately, but direct and honest, use concrete and recent example. Only criticize behavoior that can be improved
- Instead of use “talk”, “speak” seems to work, e.g., “I wanna come down and I wanna speak to you…”
- Use “something” instead of “anything”, e.g., “Is there something else you want to address in the visit today?”
- Find a way to reply with equal or more amount of information to keep conversation going